Do I live in Russia? Only when I leave the house.

I'm at the Apple store... waiting... in another line... just like every other day of my life...

The DVD burner on my new MacBook Pro has been acting up, and I can't deliver the promised Rugby World Cup matches without being able to burn them. So to the Apple store I go, thinking, stupidly, that they would be able to replace the drive without a problem. After an hour of being here, I can't even get as far as getting in line to see someone.

As with the DMV, the Passport agency, Berkeley Bowl, the county courthouse, and it seems every other enterprise that deals with any substantial number of people, at the Apple store you have to stand in line for a chance to stand in line. In this case, I have to stand in line, to register for the standby list, which will then possibly, maybe get me on the real list to be serviced. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS COUNTRY???

These breadlines used to be phenomena limited to old Russia. Remember? We used to relish in the schadenfreude of lesser nations dealing with their unwashed masses. Now, these processing lines are everywhere - gradually getting us used to being treated like commodities, willfully accepting a complete lack of service that one deserves as a customer.

The Bay Street Apple store just moved from another location in the same strip mall. From what I can tell, the only difference is that this one is smaller: combining the Genius bar and checkout desk into one great, huddled, irritating mess. I'm on the standby list now, but that doesn't guarantee that I will get service on something that's broken on my computer and covered by the warranty that I paid extra to have. GOD!

This change toward treating everyone as a barcode completely unworthy of any sort of personal respect isn't limited to the Apple store, of course. The TSA and airline industry are probably the worst offenders in this sense.

In order to make baby boomer moms and children of hippies feel safe and cared for, now we have to wait up to two hours in a "security" line at the airport, where they don't even catch the big stuff (knives, guns, etc.) but make sure to strip search you, because you, whitebread middle-America, could be dangerous. It's security theater, plain and simple, made to a) scare you into thinking that there is an immediate threat to your safety, and b) reassure you that in the hands of your capable government, you are safe, or at least, they're doing their best to keep you safe.

The insult continues once you're on the plane. The seats have gotten narrower, the passengers have gotten louder and you don't even get a meal anymore on most flights. Unless you pay for wider seats, or for quieter passengers, or for a meal, which you do if you fly business or first class.

These things are not extras on a flight - just charge more for economy class and give me a pleasant flight. A comfortable seat is a requirement for a pleasant flight. Eating something decent is too. Paying your flight attendants a pension so that I don't have to deal with their unbridled bitchiness is also a requirement for my enjoyment and continued business.

But every airline is trying to be a cut-rate carrier like Southwest. News: they can't do it. Southwest can get away with shitty service and no food and overcrowded cabins because they are charging less than the legacy carriers used to.

But if I get a ticket on United, I expect a quiet cabin, a comfortable seat, some food and a courteous flight crew. I know I'm not alone in saying that I'd gladly pay what flights used to cost in 1995 to get the same level of service that I got in 1995. If I wanted crappy service at a cheap price, I would have gone to Southwest. But I didn't - I came to United because I wanted a pleasant flight, and I'm willing to pay for that. Just don't treat things that are necessary as extras. We like those things, we need those things. That's why Frontier and Southwest are blowing you out of the water - they're starting to give us those "extras," and are charging less than you for it.

I'll rant more about it in a future post - but everything's getting crappy and expensive, and everyone wants to take you for a ride. It is like living in Russia. Long breadlines, poor customer service, and every merchant wants to sell you something that doesn't work, and then make you wait around to charge you to fix it poorly.

All I can do is hope that the Apple store will see the customer reaming them out on their own computer as worthy enough to warrant doing their job.