Putting the "Duh" back in Fundamentalism

No, not the Islamofascists - it's the reliably indignant Christian Reconstructionists (also known as "Dominionists" - see sidebar) up to their wiley tricks again! Their latest idea is to move all of the most faithful and least educated of the land to South Carolina to set up a theocracy in God's graven image. Why not - it gets them that much further away from me. Normally I wouldn't waste your valuable time posting a link to this sort of thing, but because of one of their bullet points, I feel it belongs on this blog (emphasis mine):

• Abortion continues against the wishes of many States
• Sodomite marriage is now legal in Massachusetts (and coming soon to a neighborhood near you)
• Children who pray in public schools are subject to prosecution
• Our schools continue to teach the discredited theory of Darwinian evolution
• The Bible is still not welcome in schools except under unconstitutional FEDERAL guidelines
• The 10 Commandments remain banned from public display
• Sodomy is now legal AND celebrated as "diversity" rather than condemned as perversion
• Preaching Christianity will soon be outlawed as "hate speech"

Why must these people continue to assert science education as their bailiwick? Shame on us, poisoning our children's minds with factual analysis and testable hypotheses. It has to be difficult to live in a world where logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence is taught, and your cherished, if backward, fairy tale account of life's origin isn't.

We should give them South Carolina, just like we should give violent criminals, um... North Carolina, for its convenient placement next to South Carolina. The Palmetto State should serve as the fundies' own hate-filled Hammurabian commune, so that they could cast aside the completely discredited theory of Evolution, in favor of the monumentally reliable story of Creation, and found their own hypersensitive, provincial, abhorrently intolerant, authoritarian nation, just like God says. It's in the Bible - somewhere, I'm sure.

Fundies, South Carolina is yours - you deserve it. And it's a good thing there are no gay Christians, especially in South Carolina. Because if there were, you would have to recast your doctrine to accommodate tolerance, forgiveness, and a less-than-intransigent-and-bigoted interpretation of the Bible, and that would be an affront to your First Amendment rights, or something like that.